I may have dropped the odd subtle hint that Dad (a.k.a. “Staff”) likes his garden. Although it’s technically summer now (being the first day of July), he says everything’s late this year and it’s really still like springtime.
Well, in the cat blogosphere it’s blingtime again. My pal Nerissa, who blogs exceptionally well over at Nerissa’s Life (whilst bravely suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune that result from being called Nerissa despite being a fella), has awarded me an award. This time it’s the “Bestest Kitty Blogger in the Cosmos Award”.
Now you might think that a “Bestest” award can only be awarded once because there can be only one “Bestest”. And I think there is only one “Bestest” and that’s the kitty who created the award, Bionic Basil. So the bestest kitty blogger in the cosmos, a.k.a. Basil, is indirectly awarding us his award (indirectly because Nerissa, who’s a fella and was the initial recipient, has passed it on).
Do you understand that? If you do, please can you explain it to me?
Anyhows, first my acceptance speech – “Thanks Nerissa, buddy. Purrs and Headbonks.” Direct and to the point. Says it all. Yay!
The “rules” accompanying this award are thankfully simpler than for many awards. I’ve already run out of answers to the “five things you didn’t know about me” question!
I have to pass the award on to five other bloggers and link back to Basil’s blog. You’d think that would be easy wouldn’t you. But it’s not. I have to select just five blogs out of the many that I think are much better than mine and it’s difficult to make that choice, though I guess doggieblogs are ruled out cos they’re not kitties. It’ll get harder for subsequent winners of the award because, at the moment, there’s only one pawson – Nerissa – who has won it before me but as the list grows it’ll become more difficult to find someone who hasn’t already won it.
But now to my choice of nominees. Well, not nominees; these are actual winners of the award:
- Newly wed, 6 lbs of Van cat, 2 lbs of floof, Herman!!! (with the three exclamation marks) over at “It’s a Wonderpurr Life”
- Those very demanding, impossible rule making, Purrime Ministrettes at the uniquely titled “Shiva and Jaya”
- Belle (now Mrs Herman!!! (with the three exclamation marks)) for “Belle’s World”
- Mia and Manu deserve an award for their pawsome photoblog at miaandmanu.com even if they don’t write much
- And finally, Boris who runs the annual SciFiPawty fundraiser and also the “4 Paws for a Cause” blog
And I’m thinking that I may invent a new award for staff. I’d call it the “Get off Your A**e Award”. I’d award it to a purriend’s staff who’s laziness, inactivity and dedication to social life in establishments that purvey alcoholic drinks means that the purriend cannot get his blog going. I’ll have to think seriously about this possibility. Though I may have to use “Butt” instead of “A**e” as I think those in the USofA prefer the B-word.
Meanwhile, I hope my award winners will enjoy displaying their new bling on their blogs and will each think of five worthy recipients so that, as Basil put it, we continue to “spread the love”.
Furriends in the USofA celebrated Moms’ Day this year on May 12th (in the UK Moms’ day was months ago). I don’t have a Mom but Dad’s not too bad and, it turns out, he’s a lot more attentive to me than my furriends Moms, who, to a woman, deserted their kitties for a large part of the day. Indeed, one particularly B.A.D. Mom regularly deserts her cats overnight and so we organised a “Tweet of Shame” day to publicly humiliate her though she went away again and so missed most of the tweets.
But my Dad (a.k.a. “staff”) was here for me. And so, at the end of the day, my 5Amigos furriends made him a very special Moms’ Day card. But they sent it and called it an “award”. Uh oh!
My blog’s received a few awards now and Dad (a.k.a. “staff”) was getting jealous cos his blog doesn’t get any. I guess that’s because I’m a far better writer. So when he heard the word “award” his head really swelled up. I was actually getting worried that it would get jammed in the doorway when he left the room.
So I think it was a card but can I convince him? No way, Hosé! He started writing an acceptance speech ready for the awards ceremony. He’s still writing it, 240 pages later! He was awake all night! I’ll have to make sure his writings get lost or “accidentally” inserted into that whirry machine in his office that makes big pieces of paper into lots of little pieces.
Dad! It’s a CARD!
And actually a well-designed and thought out card; a sort of story of Dad’s (a.k.a. “staff’s”) recent life experiences. This is what it looks like:
And the various elements are:
These are honey badgers which you have in the USofA. Over here in the UKofGBandNI the badgers are different but they can be just as pesky and dangerous. One (and only one) dug under the garden fence earlier in the year and then defied all of staff’s attempts to keep him out whilst totally wrecking staff’s coveted lawn. In the end, staff installed chain link fencing behind the garden fence with the bottom going into a trench that he filled with concrete and with metal poles every foot or so to reinforce the fence. Now he’s gradually repairing the lawn, or would be if it wasn’t for something else that I’ll come to later.
You might guess that staff loves his garden, which is why he didn’t like badger! He grows lots of plants and then he, well, plants them. And the garden looks very nice and colourful. But at the moment, lots of these plants are still in the buildings he calls greenhouses because of something that I’ll get too soon.
All my furriends who made the card together have put their paw prints on it so it’s really personal. And it highlights that everything comes together when we think about one of staff’s paws which he calls a foot.
It comes together because it’s the climax of everything.
You see, a bit over a week ago, staff fell off a ladder. He says that the ladder broke and he didn’t actually fall off it. I suppose that’s possible as staff is a bit on the heavy side. And when he fell he damaged his foot and so had to walk on two crutches and his other foot. The last couple of days he’s been using just one crutch and gently putting the bad foot on the ground. But he’s limited in what he can do.
- He can’t finish repairing the lawn after the badger damage because he needs to dig around badger’s holes to fill them properly. And he can’t dig.
- He can’t plant all the plants because he has to dig holes to plant them in. And he can’t dig.
But he has asked me to say that his nuts don’t need crutches. I’m not sure what he’s on about as I don’t have any (thanks to the snip-snip as a kitten). But I’m sure some other grown up humans will understand the point he wants to get across.
So you see, it’s a very good card (or award). And I know staff really appreciates it; it’s just he’s unlikely to get round to saying “Thank you” himself for a long time (and a lot of pages) yet.
I decided to forward on the award to some other deserving blogs, one of which was ruled by Shiva and Jaya, the Purrime Ministerettes of the Planet Purrth (and award winning movie stars in their spare time).
But was I surprised when their exalted Ministerettes then decided to give me not one but two awards. And one of those was a brand new one which they had created and I was one of the very first recipients. So having recovered from the shock of this double honour, got back onto my feet and finally having received medical assistance for the knock my forehead got when I bowed too low, I am duty bound to respond.
The first award looks like this:
For this award you don’t need to answer any probing questions or stuff like that but you do need to pass it on to deserving recipients. I’ll get to that bit later. But first on to the brand new award which looks like this:
In their infinite wisdom, the Purrime Ministerettes have made seven rules with which we have to comply to formally accept the award:
- Bow for your Purrime Ministerettes and confirm on your blog you have done so.
- Show a picture of you watching Purrime Ministerette movies. Pictures or it didn’t happen.
- Tell Planet Purrth that it needs a change and explain what kind of change you have in mind.
- Ask your Purrime Ministerettes what you never dared to ask before.
- Bow again for your Purrime Ministerettes and confirm on your blog you have done so.
- Forward the Purrime Ministerette of Planet Purrth Award to at least 3 other blogging anipals.
- Do not change the rules without explicit written Purrime Ministerette purrmission.
So I have to comply with these rules and anyone to whom I pass on the award must similarly comply or they cannot accept the award. Let’s start with me.
- I have bowed and required medical treatment for a bruise to my forehead when I did so too fast and too far
- Here’s a piccything.
- Planet Purrth you need a change (that complies with the first part of the rule). The change you need is to stop asking people to suggest changes. This is because you cannot improve on perfection (see 7 below).
- My question is “If the answer 42 was, in fact, wrong and it should have been 85, what should the question have been?”
- I have bowed a second time, more gently as the plaster cast hasn’t yet set after the earlier incident (see 1 above).
- My forwadees (have I just invented a new word? That’s a supplementary question to rule 4) are below.
- I respectfully suggest a revision to rule 3 (see 3 above).
OK, the selection of those to whom I will forward the award is difficult because this new award is so prestigious that (as I haven’t heard yet of any of my co-recipients forwarding it) my first nominee will only be the sixth recipient. I am very conscious of the honour this award brings and of my responsibility to maintain its specialness by choosing only the most deserving of recipients. So I have decided that I will forward both awards to bloggers who I think are both inspiring (for the first award) and particularly deserving of the second.
And so to the announcement, which deserves a roll of drums:
And a fanfare of trumpets:
And a chorus of meows:
I’m going to give both awards to:
@PatchyMeow for the Five Cats Chronicles and because she has done so much to raise money for and to help cats in need and didn’t stop even when she was caught up in the Cyprus financial problems recently (that’s where she lives).
I think all are worthy recipients of these awards and I hope that their Ministeretteships will agree.
I haz great news. I haz been thinking for some time that the lack of typist support haz been holding my blogging efforts back. So I made staff an offer to work for me more.
The negosheeayshuns sort of went like this.
Staff was sitting on the funny little seat in the little room that opens off his bedroom. He calls it the “on chocolate” or something like that.
I jumped up onto staff’s lap and gently lowered my two front paws between his legs.
I made my proposition.
I just flexed my claws a little bit.
Staff agreed to my proposition.
So I now haz the typist support that I need to make something of this bloggywog.