A few weeks ago I paid a visit to my favourite vet, who for the day, had been renamed Dennis. This particular Dennis was going to have a look at my toofy-pegs which, staff had decided, needed cleaning. Seems he’d noticed a little bit of inflammation on my gummythings. I could only sit there and gulp as he signed the consent form for the knockout drops and another form which said if Dennis found any bad teeth, they could be pulled. Hang on a minute, did that mean that staff was saying that any naughty teeth could be given to a dating agency?
Still, it wasn’t long before a nice nursey person was shaving a little circle of fur off one of my legs. Then a little prick and I don’t remember anything until late in the day when staff came to pick me up. Dennis told him that he’d extracted three toofy-pegs, not because of any decay but because they were working loose. This is, it seems, something to do with age!
Aaaaaaaagggggggggeeeeeee? (You gotta read that with a voice whose pitch raises steadily but quickly until it passes beyond the upper capabilities of human hearing.)
I’m not that old but, it seems (there’s lots of “seems” involved when I visit my favourite vet), I’m now classed as an “approaching old age cat”. Oh, the indignity! I suppose I’ll have to become incontinent now just to keep staff happy!
But there’s more!
Staff and Dennis had a chat and decided that it was now time to help the dental mix food that I get in addition to my normal wet food. And that help involved BRUSHING MY TOOFS every few days! Now I submit to grooming every day (my regular readers will know that I actually love a session with my Furminator). And I tolerate the quarterly worming tablet being shot down my throat by staff using a little device that stops me biting him. And I succumb to the monthly sticky squirty yucky flea treatment on the back of my neck.
But toofy-peg cleaning is a step too far! I was planning my resistance tactics faster than I can rip open a pack of Dreamies.
But staff was also planning ahead.
And that, dear readers, is how I got my toofs cleaned.